We often try to improve, to become the best version of ourselves. To take a step further.
“Get out of your comfort zone!” Is a sentence you hear a lot. “You can do better than this!”. You hear it everywhere, so you also start hearing it inside your head… as true as you think it is, it is not always the kindest thing to act upon.
How do you know if it’s not kind? If by using those sentences you’re judging yourself.
What if instead, look at the situation and at yourself with a dose of compassion. Look at yourself as if you were looking at a good friend. What would you say to a friend for encouragement and support? How would you let a friend know that you have their back?
Sometimes, just like friends need to know that you’re there for them, no matter what, so do YOU need to know that you’re there for YOU, no matter what.
An attentive friend will know when it’s time to listen, when it’s time to support and when is the time to give a little push. We need to give that kind of attention also to ourselves.
The first step is to notice when you judge yourself, and turn it into support and compassion.
For those of you who are parents, we tend to judge ourselves for how we act and react to our children. What if instead of beating yourself up, say – OK, that wasn’t the best thing to do, I’ll do better next time. And between now and the next time, target what was the moment of weakness, and see how not to go there again.
If you feel like mediocrity is hovering over some areas of your life, and you don’t see how you can get out of it and don’t find the energy to get out of it, beating yourself up won’t help. It will only bury you deeper. I don’t say you don’t have to want to change the situation. but you would like to show some compassion to yourself, and start asking – what’s required here?
If your energy is down, look for what will help it go up again. A walk in the park? meeting a friend? exercise? a nice cup of coffee by the beach? energetic session with a practitioner? something more ongoing that will support you?
Look for that thing.
Once your energies will be up again, ways to create can also show up more easily.
Remember! the first thing is to get out of judgment and be kind and compassionate to yourself. Then look for whatever it is that can assist and support you. After you attend that, stepping out of the frustrating or unfulfilling situation becomes easier, taking that step out of the comfort zone can now be even quite nice and exciting.